So, the time has come to finish writing my second book - the sequel to The Green Lady, called, The Story of the Green Lady. And now the fear sets in. What if I can't connect with my inner-muse? What if the next book is terrible? What if The Green Lady cannot be repeated? And, surprise, surprise, every time I sit down to write, I find myself stuck! I'm aware that I'm the one creating exactly the reality that I don't want through my negative thoughts. But still I find myself unable to stop doing so.
The Green Lady was so easy to write. It really felt as if I wasn't writing it, but rather just taking dictation. As if someone else, other than my ego-mind, was in the driving seat. And it felt wonderful! I felt purpose-filled and energetic and inspired. I would lie awake at night with stories whizzing through my mind and I would wake up in the mornings feeling energised and raring to go. I simply loved the process, whereas now I just feel frustrated and out-of-sorts. And what's really ironic is that I recently did an interview in which I was asked about writer's block. And my response was so self-assured. I realise that I've never actually experienced true writer's block before now. And I don't like it one bit!
So, what should I do? Should I even be writing this next book at all? Perhaps I should just stop with The Green Lady and find something else to do?
But then... there are just so many stories inside of me that are desperate to be told. And so many people have told me that they loved The Green Lady; that these simple stories brought joy and beauty to their lives. And that makes it all worthwhile and so I try again. And again I find myself stuck and unable to make headway, even though the stories continue clamouring to be told.
I know the problem is that I have attached my ego to the writing of this second book. The first book was just easy and fun and I could just play with it because it didn't have to mean anything. It was simply an expression of myself and I had no real intention of ever publishing it. But, now that I have published it, this second book has so much more "importance" and "value" and this is exactly what is blocking me.
But, if The Green Lady came directly from my Higher Self, and if I access my Higher Self via the portal of my heart, then it stands to reason that I need to move my ego out of the way and re-connect with my heart if I want to progress at all. Trying to force the stories out using my ego-mind is never going to work. So, my self-imposed task for the next week is to just stay in connection with my heart and not to worry about writing at all. I'm going to see if that works. I'll report back soon; hopefully with some good news!